What does it mean to really be a father? This Father’s Day happens to be my 45th birthday, and the first day of summer, as was the day I was born, many moons ago. Today seems like a great day to I reflect upon my role, responsibilities and love for my children and their mother.

Personally, I’m a thankful father, grateful for my wonderful wife and kids. Having the opportunity to be a dad wasn’t a forgone conclusion with me. When I was younger, I even thought quite surely that I’d never get married, never own a home, and never be a parent.

Now, almost all my decisions are informed by a simple thought process: how will this effect my kids; will I bring honor to my family if I take a particular course; will I be imparting the proper lessons on my kids; and am I living the values I tell them are truly important?

Weighty stuff.

In many ways, the concept of GettingOutside.com flowed from this thought process and was a result of my desire to do good for the world, bringing honor to my family and to dp good for my family, being able to spend more quality time with them.

Yesterday, I ushered the kids outside to play in the puddles and mud during a break in the rain. They found our blackberry tree had ripe fruit, and we spent some time picking and eating the berries (see the pictures below).

If you’re looking for ways to connect with your kids, there is no better way than to take them outdoors with you! Fishing, camping, cycling, and hiking all provide quality time that will afford you the undivided attention you’ll need to discuss important issues like love, sex, drugs, smoking, loneliness, friendship, success and not so weighty matters like hair styles, fashion, music, and other interests.

Try talking to your kids with the TV on or with a computer or video game that they are itching to use in the next room. Good luck.

My 2 Cents on Fatherhood

For one thing, being a father means so much more than the act of procreation. If there is anything you learn as a dad, being a real father to someone is a commitment that has little to do with reproduction. There are adoptive fathers, Big Brothers, mentors and uncles who prove this point every day. And there are absent biological fathers who do just as much to prove the point.

You need to be better than yourself, better than your single-self, better than who you were before you had your kids. This for me is a work in progress, a constant struggle to improve and better myself.

Perhaps the hardest balance to achieve is the one between patience and discipline. Kids need room to discover who they are, to find their creative and emotional outlets, and to grow into their own unique personalities. They also need boundaries. In fact from my experience, they crave boundaries – just not ones that are too narrow.

As a dad, I’ve had to find that equilibrium between letting my kids have freedom to grow, be successful and yes make some mistakes, and putting the brakes on behaviors and activities that are unacceptable or self-destructive.

Along this path, I’ve had one guiding force that I could always count on: my unconditional love for my kids – a love that I make sure they are certain of. This certainty affords them a confidence to be themselves, to trust in the world around them even when it seems scary, and to know in their hearts that they will always have a home.

This Father’s Day I hope you’ll find some quality time with your kids. I hope you’ll reflect on you relationship with your children and on the ways that you can make it better through love, commitment and time. Happy Father’s Day from GettingOutside.com!